I’ve just added a range of self-hypnosis recordings to this site for clients who want to work on their own. The power of self-hypnosis is sometimes underestimated, so here’s a bit of background about hypnosis and self-hypnosis:
We’re all hypnotists!
Hypnosis is not a special state that can only be induced by a professional hypnotist. Without knowing it, we naturally go in and out of trance many times in a normal day. When you sit at your desk and daydream for a few moments – that’s trance! When you’re driving somewhere and you realize you’ve been on autopilot and can’t recall anything about the route you’ve just travelled – that’s also trance. And most people slip very nicely into trance when they come home in the evening and sit down in front of the television.
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Have you ever wondered what the underlying Values behind your dreams and ambitions might be? The Values are the things that motivate us at the deepest level, often without us being consciously aware of them. When we know our Values we can define our Vision – a powerful statement describing our true purpose in life.
If you want to discover more about your true purpose, join me for a half-day workshop on Saturday 28 November. We’ll begin by doing The Passion Test, a simple but powerful system for discovering what’s most important in your life. As a bonus, I’ve added an extra process called The Vision Spiral to help you create a powerful life purpose statement. This will really get you focused!
For more information, check out the Workshops page.
Passion Test Workshop details:
Workshop: The Passion Test
Date: Saturday 28 November
Time: 10 a.m. – 2 p.m.
Cost: R390
Venue: Folio Books, Main Rd Rondebosch/Newlands.
In a conversation recently an ecologically-minded young woman told me of her doubt over having children. She wanted children, but it didn’t seem right to have them when the world was already so full of people. They would only add to the burden of the world and consume more of a dwindling supply of resources. It was quite a dilemma for her, and perhaps she is not alone in feeling this way.
How can we satisfy our own desires and the desires of the planet when they seem to be so much in conflict these days? Those who care about the environment feel real pain at what is happening. All evidence says the world needs fewer people, not more. And it needs the people who consume without regard for the future to stop doing what they are doing. We know what is good for the world, we are sure we know. It does not occur to us that this ‘knowing’, and the pain it causes us, are part of the problem.
Separation
In order for us to see the world as needing saving from the ignorant people, the greedy people, we need to view ourselves as separate from both those people and the earth itself. It does not occur to us that our willingness to sacrifice ourselves to save the planet is itself a form of violence. We see the world as out there, in distress, as something that needs fixing. It gives us a sense of identity to know that we know what the planet needs. But really, how do we know?
Could it perhaps be that we and the earth are not separate at all, that what we love the earth also loves? How terrible to think that the world might require us to deny the love that seeks to come through us. This thought is based on separation, and it places us on the same side as the speculators and developers who are plundering the earth in their own way. We are not different to them. If we see ourselves as different then we are simply affirming how similar we are – all of us lost in the same dream of separation.
Ending the war within
The world needs fewer people. Is that true? Perhaps it might be more true to say that the world needs fewer people who are at war in themselves. The planet can handle any number of people who understand that the greatest thing they can do for it is to allow love to come forth in the way that love chooses. If it wants to appear in the form of a child, let it do so. If it wants to come through as some great project, something that excites and inspires you, then it is the world itself that brings it forth. It is not your job to refuse it because you think you know what the world needs. You don’t.
All you will have to let you know you are right is a feeling of expansiveness and inspiration that flows up from the heart when you contemplate a particular action. If you feel this, then your project is a blessing to the world because it is no different to the world. If it feels like duty, like a closing down, then it is simply ego trying to tell the world it knows what’s best. And, quite simply, it doesn’t.
I was walking to the shops the other day and suddenly it struck me that there was no purpose to this walking beyond the walking itself. When I set out my intent was to go and get some groceries – this was my purpose. But while ambling along by the banks of the Liesbeeck river, for a brief moment the story of my getting to the shops ceased and there was just the walking. No other story, just walking. And there was no other purpose in the world. Just this, what’s happening now, in this moment.
I’ve been writing quite a bit on this site about life purpose as something to be found, but now it seems that in fact there is nothing to be found. Your true purpose is whatever you are being or doing right now. As you read this your purpose is to sit and read. Or more precisely, one might say the reading is simply happening, you are not doing anything. There’s absolutely nothing beyond this reading, because anything that would be beyond it is a projection out of the Now into a past or future. A projection into one more story, one more fiction.
So now I will define true purpose as who you are when the stories about yourself have ceased. It is the life that lives through you, as you. How do you get to this? Stop the struggle, stop trying to make things happen when they’re just not happening. I’m glad I can blog about this so I can come back and remind myself when I forget (which happens often!).
There’s a quote from the Conversations with God series that comes to mind:
“There is nothing you have to be or do except what you are being or doing right now.”
Text version of a public talk on The Passion Test
We are all here because we are looking for something. There is a feeling that something is missing. We are missing our destiny, the knowledge of how we might be most effective and fulfilled in the world. Some of us might have gone to a lot of trouble to try and divine what our path might be. We just cannot decide who we are and what we should do, or the obstacles to our dreams seem so overwhelming we convince ourselves we are mistaken about our heart’s desire.
Well I would suggest to you that the clues to your ideal life are already present with you now. You don’t need to look up to the heavens or consult oracles or petition your spirit guides. It’s all here, right now. In this process which I will lead you through you will discover that the clues to your destiny are hiding in plain sight. For a hundred and one reasons we overlook these clues, but they are there.
When our attention is on the created world we imagine there are things that can be lost and others that can be gained, there are things we avoid and others that we seek. There seems to be a timeline we can walk from past to future, from that which is less good to that which is more good. It’s possible for us to be missing something that can be gained in a desired future. This is what most received wisdom and common sense seems to tell us. But in the quantum state at the heart of all matter there is no time and no place, and therefore nothing that can be gained or lost.
The holographic universe
Quantum physics tells us that elementary particles are entangled, they know what other particles are doing even if separated by great distances. In the heart of matter where time and space are not real, things are more than connected, they are the same thing reflected over and over. Some have likened this to a hologram – the Holographic Universe.
But this is not really the subject of this talk, it’s just to open the door to the idea that in the deeper sense of who we are, everything is reflected, and nothing is missing. Which means, in short, that the answer to the question of what is missing in your life is actually present in your life right now. You only need to look carefully, to remove the things that obscure it, for the answer to appear.
The Passion Test process
The Passion Test is a simple but powerful system for discovering your passions and living your destiny – effortlessly. It begins by looking at what is in your life right now because the clues to your destiny are already here, already present. This article will not discuss the process itself – so follow this link for more information on The Passion Test.
Life living through you
The Passion Test is about uncovering layer by layer the things that are most important to you. You can look at this as a process of discovering and manifesting your destiny, but it’s not about you, the ego, going out and conquering the universe, it is about you listening to what is there already, about getting clear about the patterns that are already present. And here’s the thing – when you are truly living your passionate life it might become apparent to you that it is not you who is living your life, life is living through you, as you.
It is the potential of enlightenment, where you as ego disappears in favour of what is. That is what destiny is about – your path of no resistance, the path in which life lives through you, as you. It is you living in the world but not being of the world. And all we need to do is to get clear on who we are, on the things that are most important to us, because these are the things that come from the quantum field, from the state of unity within.
As a hypnotherapist I see loads of clients who have battled for years to stop smoking. Often they’ve managed to give up cigarettes for a month or two, but then they’re back into it at full force. They tell me they’ve often tried everything – they’ve read Allen Carr’s Easy Way, they’ve taken Zyban, they’ve submitted to acupuncture, but within a short while they’re back at their old habit again. Most of these same clients tell me, with some resignation, that they clearly don’t have enough willpower or discipline. If this describes your own situation it might come as a relief when I tell you that it’s not your fault – the situation has been rigged so that you’re almost bound to fail. Here’s why.
It’s a set-up
Hypnotherapists have something they call the Law of Reverse Effect. Quite simply, the law states that the more you think about not doing something, the more you end up doing it. It’s like if someone tells you not to think of purple-spotted giraffes, then guess what image pops into your mind. It’s the same with smoking – the more you tell yourself not to smoke, the more you press that Smoke! button in your mind.
There’s another principle of hypnosis and NLP that applies here, namely that every bad habit has a positive intention. That’s right – there’s something positive that your smoking is trying to give you. If we simply apply discipline and willpower to take away the smoking, there’s a part of you that’s going to fight back to make sure you don’t lose the apparent benefits you’re gaining.
So now that you know this, what can you do about it?
1 Quit telling yourself you have to stop smoking
Every time you tell yourself that you must quit you’re just triggering the desire to smoke. Rather take that determination you have and channel it into positive affirmations connected with the good things non-smokers take for granted. For example, say to yourself, “I am enjoying clean fresh air with every breath. My body has all the stimulants it needs to cope with daily life.” Make up your own affirmations, but remember the key point – don’t focus on what you want to give up, focus on what you want to gain.
2. Apply some self-hypnosis
Now you need to try and find the positive intention behind the smoking. So sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take a nice, deep breath. When you feel settled and relaxed, just direct your attention inward and ask the part of you responsible for the smoking to tell you what benefits it’s trying to give you. Most people will find it’s things like relaxing, taking a break, or socializing.
Once you’re aware of the benefits, search deep within your own wisdom and find some better ways of getting the same benefits. Commit to applying these actions instead of the smoking. In this way, you’ll be giving yourself something, not taking something away. Remember, your smoking is going to fight you if you just try to take it away without giving it something in return.
You might find it helpful to work with a hypnotherapist to really take this process deep. If you’re in the Cape Town area, give me a call and we’ll schedule an appointment. My stop-smoking course is usually done over two sessions, though some people prefer to extend it to a few more if their habit is really entrenched.
Have you just about had it with those endless diets and joyless, kilojoule-stripped mini-meals that cause you to lose weight for a while, only to put it all back on again? If you’re like millions of other people who struggle with weight loss, you’ve probably tried every diet under the sun. But as the scale painfully reflects your lack of progress once again, you’re forced to the conclusion that it’s all your fault – If only you had more willpower, more discipline, if only you weren’t so weak! Sound familiar?
Well if it does, take heart – because the truth of the matter is that losing weight is really not all about discipline and willpower at all.
The truth about dieting and willpower
The more you try not to do something, the more you actually end up doing it. Hypnotherapists even have a name for this – we call it the Law of Reverse Effect. If someone tells you not to think of a purple elephant, what image pops into your mind? That’s right – a purple elephant. If you focus all your willpower and discipline on not eating, all you’re doing is pressing the Eat! button in your subconscious mind. What we’ve got to do instead is find out what motivates you at a very deep level to eat inappropriately or to store more fat than the body actually requires. That’s where hypnosis comes in.
How hypnosis helps you lose weight
The problem with diets is that they don’t change the underlying pattern, the true motivations for your eating or storing fat. So as a hypnotherapist I’m going to spend some time with you uncovering the inner reasons for your weight gain and helping you find solutions that are acceptable to you. I’ll generally follow these treatment steps:
- Find out if there is a hidden reason for the weight gain
Your weight gain could stem from a forgotten incident from early childhood. Kids are incredibly suggestible – so a comment from an adult about your weight or some early conflict over eating could easily program your subconscious mind to make you put on weight. - Work on improving your self-esteem
Most people with weight issues have some degree of negative self-perception. You probably imagine that when you are thin you will finally be happy. But the truth of the matter is that ‘being’ precedes action – so in order for you to be thinner, you must first regain some happiness. - Find out what types of food your body really wants
Your subconscious mind will always cause you to reject a diet that is forced on you, so we’ll work together to help you find an eating plan that your body and mind will accept. When you’re enjoying the empowering effects of hypnotic relaxation you will be aware of the foods and portion sizes that your body really needs. - Reprogram the subconscious to enjoy small meals
In the last step, I’ll help you visualize and imagine yourself eating the foods that are just right for you and in just the right amounts. This visualization will help to change your actual neural pathways so your body is rewired to accept different eating habits.
So how do you feel after reading this? More hopeful? Great! So give yourself a break and let’s use the power of hypnosis to help you lose weight and gain a healthy self-image. If you’re in the Cape Town area, give me a call and we’ll schedule an appointment.
Much of what I’ve written on this site concerns ways of finding clarity on life’s great questions: Who am I, what is my purpose, what really matters? As a life coach and hypnotherapist I have a range of processes that can be used to help people dive deeply into these questions and find answers or new directions that bring greater meaning to life. But what happens when the answers are elusive, or when you get several answers to one question?
I was thinking about this recently when I found myself in my characteristic condition of alternating frustratingly between two quite different modes of being. One part of me wants to be out there making a name for myself, and the other wants to sit quietly in a chair, contemplating life and letting the world go its way undisturbed. So who am I, which path should I follow? As I sat with this perennial question, I noticed a kind of quiet space develop around it. The question had always been with me and always would. It was a knowing that a straight answer would not be forthcoming, and that it wasn’t required. I could have several answers at a practical level about who I was and what I could do with my life, but at a deeper level, where I tried to connect everything, logic did not work. The tools and processes ran aground. The purpose of my life, then, was not a thing at all but rather a space between things. The question would be forever asked and never answered.
Perhaps it is never answered because the answer is hidden within the question itself. The answer is to be in the “I don’t know” space, in the not-knowing. When we find answers to things we discover certainty, and certainty hardens our self-image, our separation. But when we discover the question that refuses to be answered it is like stumbling upon a doorway into Being itself. Suddenly our words stop, our constant stream of self-defining thoughts have nowhere to go. In that moment there is space, the peace of knowing you do not need the answer. You don’t know, and that’s OK.
It can be a great comfort for people who are suffering an intractable problem or serious illness to finally put down the burden that they should know how to fix it or how to heal themselves. In the end you simply don’t know the purpose of your condition or what it means, and perhaps there is no meaning other than that it has brought you to the place of silence, of not knowing. You don’t know what death is, either, and if you’re honest, you don’t know what life is. Do whatever you can to know, but if the question evades your best efforts, perhaps it’s one of those questions … the questions that open up into Being itself. Sit with it, be with it, there’s nowhere to go, nothing to do. This is it.
To find your true purpose in life, look to what you love. You don’t need to meditate and look up to the heavens – your purpose is already being shown to you by those things you would do without reward, simply because you love doing them. You can receive reward for them and you might want to and need to, but they are those things you would do even if you won the lottery. They are innate and unique – you did not put them there, they come from somewhere else.
So what can you do to get clear on what is most important to you?
Step 1: Identify your passions
Begin with the clues that are already in your life. Sit down and make a list of those things you would do if you won R30 million and didn’t need to work at all. Would you sleep all day, or would you get up and do something? Would you work at something rich in meaning but that gave little financial reward, or would you build a financial empire? Chances are good you are already doing some of the things that will form the basis of your ideal life. The only reason they haven’t manifested yet is because you haven’t got really clear on them.
“When you are clear, what you want will show up in your life, and only to the extent you are clear.” – The Passion Test, Chris and Janet Attwood.
Go deeply when you make your list and ignore, for a moment, the practicalities and all the ‘yes buts’ that your mind will probably offer. Your job right now is to get clear on what you love. When you are clear on what you want and are excited by it, the ‘how’ of things begins to take care of itself. Suddenly new possibilities open up, synchronicities happen, money appears.
Step2: Identify the top 5 passions
Go through the list, comparing one against the other, and ask yourself – if you could only have one, which would it be? Do this, comparing one item against the next, until you have your top 5. (The full process for doing this is described in The Passion Test book and is covered in my Passion Test workshops or individual coaching sessions.)
When you have your top 5 passions, write them down on a card and keep it somewhere in view. This will focus your attention on your ideal life and begin the process of manifesting it.
From passions to purpose
The Passion Test process outlined above gives you the important ‘whats’ of your life – the things you would love to be, do, or have. In my courses and individual sessions we take this further and discover the deeper reasons that motivate the passions – the ‘whys’ of your life. Once we know the motivations we can identify your Vision – your true purpose – and once we have the Vision and Purpose we can define an inspiring Mission Statement for your life. I call this process the Vision Spiral.
Here’s an example of a Mission Statement, written by an entrepreneur:
I declare that my primary purpose in life is to add value to the world by creating products and services that solve problems and bring people delight and happiness.
To do this I will create profitable and ethical businesses focused on filling voids and solving problems in the world around me.
In return I will receive handsome profits that I will use to build more businesses, to foster creative talent in less privileged people, and to build my dream home at the sea.
Inspiring? See the Workshops page for details on how you can discover your passions and write a powerful Mission Statement for your own life. Or if you’re in the Cape Town area, give me a call and we’ll schedule an appointment for some individual coaching. The Passion Test and Mission Statement can be covered in two or three sessions.
I found this great little article on heartlandsuccess.com that shows just how important it is to discover your purpose before starting any business. The most successful business are those that are created from a true sense of purpose – where the person who starts them really feels that their product or service is contributing meaning to themselves and the world.
Heartland Success LLC» 3 Keys for Quitting your job and starting a business
For details on my own coaching processes for helping you discover your purpose, see the post Finding your true purpose.
