The wisdom of not-knowing

Sometimes the answer is that there is no answerToday I am wrestling with a question and find myself asking, What must I do? What must I do?

I am seeking answers but finding none. This feels uncomfortable and unsatisfying.

But now, when I become still and observe this state of ‘no-answers’, a radical idea comes to me: Perhaps I do not need to know anything.

After all, am I really separate from Life? Is there really an ‘I’ over here who must find an answer over there?

All I really know is that this moment is full of questioning. If I must wait for an answer I am saying God must wait, for there is nothing other than God, nothing other than Life. God is asking what God must do. What a joke!

As it turns out, I am the one in whom this joke is enacted.

I offer myself to this masquerade. What must I do? What must I do?

Before you go there, be here

Before you go there, be truly here - mindfullness coaching
We all want to go from here to there. But how can we get there if we’re never really here? In truly becoming present we discover that our needs are met and that the essence of what we have been trying to accomplish is already here. Before trying to get over there, first get here. Then see what wants to happen.

All we really have to take care of is the journey from here to here.

Coaching for being and presence

Are you trying too hard to fix your issues?

All problems are created in the mind. All solutions are found in Being.

Coaching for being and presenceI am becoming more and more aware that when we try too hard to fix ourselves and solve our problems we can actually just perpetuate these same problems. Conventional therapy and coaching is great until a point, but there comes a time when all our ‘doing’ just adds to the general noise and discord in our lives. The assumption is that if we keep on working at our issues we will one day resolve them and be happy. There is some merit in this – but only to a point. No matter how much we work at fixing and solving, we will never clear everything. We will still be a self – an ego – trying to fix a self. This duality contains the seed of suffering. Read more

How to change your reality using solution-focused questions

The Power of Words – Part 3

The power of coaching questionsWe tend to think that language describes reality, but in many ways it actually creates our reality. For instance, if we are angry we are taught to ask a question like, “Why am I angry?” While this has some use in identifying a cause of our anger, it also gives the state of anger more affirmation and reality. In this case, our use of language is affirming a problem state.

So what’s the alternative? Read more

Are you asking questions that keep you locked into your problems?

The Power of Words – Part 2

Lose weight without dietingHow often do you catch yourself saying things like, “Why do I keep doing this?” or “Why do people always leave me”, or “Why aren’t I achieving success?” Pause for a moment and feel the energy of these questions. Do you get the feeling that these questions almost guarantee unhelpful answers?

In coaching, we like to stay away from “why” questions because they invariably involve us in some kind of negative critique. We prefer “what” and “how” questions, because these generate their own solutions. Read more

The secret power of words – how language can change your reality

The Power of Words – Part 1

The secret power of wordsOne of the quickest ways to change your experience of reality is to change the way you describe it.

We tend to think that reality is a certain way and that certain things are good and others are bad. We forget that we are labelling things that in themselves do not have labels. We see things happening in the news and we say, “Oh that’s terrible,” and then we actually start feeling terrible.

So how does one see through stories that really do seem so bad and terrible? One can begin by simply avoiding passing judgment and applying labels. Yes, something looks terrible, but is it really? How can one know that it is terrible? Does one really have the full picture? This is not about closing the heart to reality, it is about keeping it open and simply not labeling what happens. One might find that watching the news becomes an exercise in compassion rather than an exercise in frustration and sorrow. Don’t listen to the judgment in the newsreader’s story – feel the event directly, and label nothing. Read more

Free weight-loss teleclasses – the love diet

It’s not a food problem – it’s a love problem!

The love diet - throw out the diets and love yourself Have you found that dieting and other forms of disciplining yourself about food only make you feel worse? Do you feel alone in your frustration and disappointment? Then you might like to explore a more compassionate alternative. Your inner being is communicating to you through your food issue. Are you listening to it, really listening, or are you listening to other people who tell you that you must starve yourself and exercise willpower and discipline? Dear friend, it is not about discipline – you’ve got lots of that. It’s really about love. Read more

No diets – just love

Bubbles-420x280Are you trying to lose weight by dieting? Do you wonder why you don’t succeed? Let’s keep this short and sweet, let’s cut to the chase, the reason you cannot diet is because the diet is trying to kill your soul. In your heart you do not want to be told that you are not good enough as you are and that you have to be controled and measured and squeezed and trimmed. Stuff that! Deep down, you know there is nothing wrong with you. There are people who make a lot of money by encouraging this war between yourself and your body. Stuff them! Read more

A tale of two artists

… or, why some people fail and others succeed!

Matisse - Painting with scissors

Matisse – Painting with scissors

Once upon a time there were two famous artists. In their old age, both of them got severe arthritis in their hands and could no longer paint. The first artist fell into despair and cursed God for taking away his livelihood and the joy of his art. He never painted again or made any more art.

The second artist found that while he could not paint, he could hold a pair of scissors. He watched his grandchildren cutting out shapes in paper and making pictures with them. He thought, “I can also do this”. And so he started making beautiful art using paper and scissors. Read more

How to go from sad to glad – in less than 2 minutes!

What are you dreading doing? Or what have you been procrastinating on for ages?

Happy businesspeopleNotice how you feel when you think about taking the necessary action. Is your breathing constricted, does your heart beat faster? Is your solar plexus all jumpy?

No matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to take inspired action or discover a solution to a problem if your body and mind are in a state of stress. A stressed physiology is interested in only three things – fight, flight or freeze. The deeper levels of intuition and heart-mind connection are disrupted, leaving you without the resources you need to move forward.

So let’s see what we can do to break this condition and get your physiology into a more supportive state. The following exercise is very simple but it contains some powerful ingredients that change the way your nervous system and biochemical system behaves. Read more